I ate sh*t.
Yeah, it’s true. I ate a complete strangers sh*t (don’t you wish you could’ve smelled my breath afterwards lol joking and EW!). It was the only cure for a terrible illness I contracted just weeks after having my daughter (Ella). Have you ever heard of Clostridium difficile (klos-TRID-e-um dif-uh-SEEL, often referred to as C. difficile or C. diff)? I bet you haven’t, and before this happened, neither had I. It’s a bacterium that attacks the good bacteria in your gut and can cause symptoms ranging from severe diarrhea to life-threatening inflammation of the colon. Clostridium difficile is often contracted amongst the elderly in hospitals or long term care facilities. It can also be contracted through antibiotic use. I personally had exposure to both the hospital (while delivering the baby) and antibiotic use (that began just days following the delivery). So how exactly I contracted C.diff will always remain a mystery (was it the hospital, or the antibiotics?).
It all began with having an upset stomach and puking unexpectedly during one of Ella’s night feedings. I thought it was just my body adjusting and recovering from the sheer hell that was her labour and delivery. However, my mystery illness (at the time) was progressing RAPIDLY & AGGRESSIVELY each and every day. Puking turned into diarrhea, which turned into uncontrollable diarrhea (let’s just say Ella wasn’t the only one wearing diapers for the first four months of her life), which turned into EXTREMELY PAINFUL diarrhea (it honestly felt like I was going through labour every single time I had to drop a load), which turned into pooping STRICTLY blood and mucus (I was having 10-15 instances of diarrhea in one day) and insane weight loss in a very short period of time (every time I ate, I had to run to the restroom...or just sh*t in my diaper...whichever happened first).
P.S. Do you know how unsexy it is to….
Have your husband buy you depends?
Uncontrollably sh*t in the car with your husband and have him lay down a plastic bag for you to sit on until you get home?
Uncontrollably sh*t your pants in his presence on several different occasions and have him bring your bagged dirty diaper and soiled pants/underwear to the garbage out back?
Have him bring several containers of your dump (on numerous occasions) to be tested at medical laboratories?
Just. Horrifying.
Not to get too off topic, but to be completely transparent, postpartum depression was very present. I was terrified of spreading this illness to my newborn baby (as it is very contagious if you aren’t cautious). I couldn’t even care for her properly, bond with her, or really enjoy my time as a new mom because I would spend most of my days in the washroom.
Anyways, back to how and why I had to eat someone else’s feces…
I had sent in samples of my poop to be tested hoping to get some answers. My first diagnostic testing came back negative for C.diff...but people, it was a FALSE NEGATIVE. Undiagnosed and unable to determine what was wrong, I went for months without knowing what it was. It never got better. Finally, I was admitted to the hospital because WE NEEDED ANSWERS. After days and several different methods of testing, it was finally determined that I had C.diff with colitis (extreme inflammation of the inner lining of the colon). Finally! We knew what was wrong. We instantly began treatment (ironically a special type of antibiotic) that supposedly works for the majority of those suffering from C.diff. But it never worked for me. I did 3 rounds of treatment (two, 2-week treatments and one 8 week taper). It was time for me to do my own research and figure out WTF was happening and how to get rid of this so I can start living a normal life again. I discovered what’s called a fecal transplant. A fecal transplant is when a doctor transplants feces from a healthy donor into another person to restore the balance of bacteria in their gut. Fecal transplants can be done through your bum by method of colonoscopy or you can consume the feces in pill form.
One day, after crying for the millionth time (and that getting me absolutely nowhere but more dehydrated), I wrote a very compelling letter to the leading researchers and Doctors of fecal transplants at a hospital in London, Ontario. They wrote me back within minutes saying that cases like mine were very rare and they would be open to treating me as soon as possible as long as they received a referral from my doctor. It took several visits to the London hospital before I could receive my fecal transplant. Since I’m a nice Catholic girl (hehe), I opted for the poop pills instead of the rectal insertion method. The poop pills are made right there in the London hospital with a good old fashioned blender and pill capsules. The day of my transplant, I consumed 20 pills filled with sh*t in one sitting. I was instructed to take one after the other as quickly as I could handle, and with just water. After months of not being able to leave my house and take care of my daughter the way I had hoped and wanted, I took those pills like I was eating a delicious slice of chocolate cake for the first time ever. I would do anything at that point!
Here are some FAQ’s I get from people;
1. Did you taste the poop?
Nope! The Doctor was kind enough to double encapsulate them “just incase”.
2. Did you have poop burps afterwards?
Nope! Not one (thank goodness!).
3. Did you go home and try to french kiss your husband as a cruel joke?
SURE DID!
4. Were the results instant?
YES THEY WERE (praise the Lord!). I went to Chipotles right after leaving the hospital to celebrate ;) Not the safest decision...but it had been off limits for far too long…
5. Can you take antibiotics again?
I’ve been instructed to never take antibiotics again unless it were life or death.
6. Did anyone else get it in your family? Luckily no one contracted it from me.
I was also extremely anal (hehe) about cleaning with loads of bleach after I had gone to the rest room.
7. Did you ever find out whose poop you ate?
Nope. I still wonder who it was, what they're like, and what they ate that day. lol
Crazy story, eh? It wasn’t the postpartum experience I imagined or hoped for, but it wasn’t the worst thing that could've happen either. I hope this read wasn’t too ‘sh*tty’ for ya!
Love, Peace & Health,
-LH
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